HeyImKai - Disorder Lyrics

      

Disorder
by HeyImKai

I try to love you
But it just, feels so wrong
Parasitic you're the host
I try my best to hold on
And I stare into the distance
Begging down on my knees
Hoping for a guy who'd love me
Knowing that we'll never be

 No point in lying to myself

 Tried doubling meds again
80 milligrams are my friends
I know my songs are sad
Maybe you are sad as well
You on the internet
You listen to my songs
And I know it may be wrong
But you've been here all along

 Told me you didn't care
That couldn't be more wrong
If only you had cared for me
Like I did for you all along
Is it because I'm special?
Is it becausе I'm mental?
The only things that love mе are the grains of sand
But I hate the beach
So I just really need
Someone else who can care

 No point of lying to you

 Stopped doubling meds again
40 milligrams are my friends
I know my songs are sad
Hope that you're not sad as well
You on the internet
You listen to my songs
And I know it may be wrong
But it feels so right

 Inhibition no ambition
Mindless thoughts follow their mission
Can't keep on lying anymore
I try my best to listen
What you tell me give admission
You beg demands not asks and it hurts
And every time I sense that something works out
It just all falls apart always running straight out
Of here, out of this place, somewhere that's safe

 Stopped doubling meds again
40 milligrams are my friends
I know my songs are sad
Feeling, a little better now
You on the internet
You listen to my songs
And I know it may be wrong
But it feels so right

 Don't wanna just be friends
But I know shit will have to end with
Everything in flames
I'm the only one to blame
Cuz' my damn OCD it all takes over me
Melting right into my hands

 Till we meet again